The author focuses on why people are willing to overlook large flaws in a partner (her examples are lack of affection or negligence) while they end relationships over minor flaws (like big ears). She gives four reasons this may happen: the minor flaws are more immediately obvious, while the larger ones are slower to appear; once the larger flaws become obvious, a person might already be hoodwinked; at this point, a person may want to believe that their flaws partner will change; ultimately, a person may believe they only deserve as much as they are getting.
- A while ago, I wrote about deal breakers in relationships, warning readers about the danger of rejecting a person who has most of the qualities you want just because they also have one you don’t.
- As my friend emphasized, sometimes we are very quick to reject dates and partners for seemingly trivial reasons, and other times we go to the opposite extreme and are too willing to overlook major flaws.
- If the person you’re with doesn’t do this for you, that is a significant problem and it should definitely be a deal breaker.
“A friend suggested that I also focus on the other side of the issue, which I am happy to do here. As my friend emphasized, sometimes we are very quick to reject dates and partners for seemingly trivial reasons, and other times we go to the opposite extreme and are too willing to overlook major flaws.”