In some ways, Valentine’s Day is better for the divorced and separated—we’re among the few people not disappointed by the holiday, since we weren’t expecting to have a good time anyway. But we can also participate in the theme of love, without it having to revolve around a partner. And our former spouse. I know this sounds odd, but this is a person you once loved, and for many—especially those of us with children—someone who remains involved in your life. Celebrating your ex (in a non-romantic way) helps your new, less-enmeshed relationship continue to evolve positively.
- So this year, I’m getting him a hammock. I’ve long had the idea that he would like a portable, nylon hammock that can be carried along on a camping trip, and strung between any two proximate trees one sees.
- I first saw this type of hammock on a hike in New Hampshire about a year after we split. I was doing a residency at the McDowell Art Colony in Peterborough, and one Monday, we all went out to a local dive bar to play a set during the open-mic night.
- A handsome local drummer played after us, and later, he and I went out for a hike. He showed me his portable hammock, and I’ve been thinking about getting one for my ex ever since.
“So this year, I’m getting him a hammock.”