Finding the words to comfort a friend or loved one going through a divorce can be difficult. It’s easier to narrow down what NOT to say. Do not say that they looked great together or that you can’t believe they are getting a divorce. do not compare their relations ship to one of your own or someone else that you know- each relationship is different. Do not make the conversation about yourself or anyone else. Do not say anything to shame the couple or to ‘guilt’ them into staying together. Do not minimize or dismiss their reasons for divorce.