The Psychological Reason We Obsessively Text People Who Ignore Us

The reason we obsess over people who ignore us is due to a concept called “extinction burst.” Basically, to begin giving up a habit we need to first burst through a deep desire to try everything to get a desired result. It’s a deeply psychological and instinctive desire that eventually goes away, and the habit is extinguished. Perhaps a more civil way to exterminate a behavior, such as texting an ex, is to recognize extinction burst is happening and giving it up right away.

Key Takeaways:

You know you’re prone to give in and communicate with your ex, the one you need to avoid, when your drunk, bored, or feeling lonely and horny.
Odds are, you’ve even enlisted your friends to be vigilante allies, watching for signs of wavering on your part.
Your obsessive communications are your way of working through the sudden removal of positive affirmation, the hallmark of your former communications.

“An extinction burst is defined as a temporary increase in the frequency, duration, or magnitude of the target response.”