Core vulnerabilities can often produce a strain in intimate relationships, especially when each person has a different core vulnerability, for example fear vs. shame, the two most common ones. Because most people have developed coping mechanisms for dealing with fear and shame, they often express other behavior to hide their true feelings. This can cause misunderstandings and miscommunications between two people in a relationship, as the article’s example demonstrates.
- people are vulnerable to shame or fear
- people wgo tend to avoid fear fell if they fail others will judge them
- people who tend to avoid shame feel that if they fail, they will not be able to feel good about themselves
“Your core vulnerability is the emotional state that is most dreadful to you, in reaction to which you’ve developed the strongest defenses.”