Some people experience break-ups massively differently than others. While some pine over the lost love and relationship for weeks at a time, others seem to rebound at the drop of a hat once the relationship is over. Turns out people who hold onto their feelings are a type of attachment style called the anxious attachment style. It affects about 21% of the population.
Key Takeaways:
- From a neurobiological perspective, as we now know, love in the brain is similar to addiction. When we fall in love, our brains are flooded with a host of “feel good” neurochemicals, including adrenaline, dopamine, norepinephrine, serotonin, and, if the bond with our partner is particularly strong, oxytocin.
- Nevertheless, when a breakup occurs, our brains revert back to the heightened feelings of love we once had. This is because, without the love we’ve grown accustomed to, the reward center of our brain becomes desperate for the feedback it once received, and it continues releasing neurochemicals as a way to motivate us to re-attach. Without a partner, however, there is no reward.
- If you hold romanticized beliefs, one way to start the healing process after a breakup is to acknowledge that if your former partner were indeed your soul mate, then he or she likely would not have dissolved the relationship. Similarly, it can help to start reappraising your romanticized beliefs to think about love as a process which can be experienced multiple times with multiple people throughout the lifespan.
“From a neurobiological perspective, as we now know, love in the brain is similar to addiction. When we fall in love, our brains are flooded with a host of “feel good” neurochemicals, including adrenaline, dopamine, norepinephrine, serotonin, and, if the bond with our partner is particularly strong, oxytocin.”