Sometimes people hide who they are or circumvent their own feeling to cater to their partners. The recent election was used as an example when you see something negative about the party your spouse is supporting do you intentionally show them to rub it in their face? This is quite the opposite of what you should be doing. Finding a middle ground where both people can be themselves and compromise with each others feelings is the best way to go. But keeping your true self is always more important than keeping the relationship going. If it is not meant to be then it isn’t. Yi Nan Wang has mad a 17 part test between subjects to check the authenticity of their relationship. If you score poorly either make a decision that caters to both parties or part ways.
- People risk their relationship when their desire for agency fails to be in harmony with their desire for communion.
- Wang initially developed a 17-item scale to assess “Authenticity in Relationships” called the AIRS, which she tested on several samples of Chinese adults.
- Wang found that balanced authenticity was the only scale to relate consistently in a positive direction with well-being.
“People in a close relationship often do agree with each other on important political issues, but they can also come at the same issue from completely different perspectives even while they still love each other very much.”